Motivation is the “why”.

We need a good why before the “how” becomes relevant. Motivation gives our effort meaning.

Motivation is already there.

Motivation is evoked, not imposed. We don’t need to create or teach motivation, it’s already there. Our aim is to follow the clues, explore and discover internal motivations. When we help bring what is already there to the surface, those forces may be more helpful or guiding for that person. We are all motivated for something.

"Everybody loves something, even if it’s only tortillas"

Pema Chodron

Motivation brings energy.

When something matters, we have a much deeper well of energy and resilience to tap into. Most of us would prefer not to run across broken glass in bare feet. But it’s amazing what you can achieve when you’re being chased by zombies.

Motivation often comes back to common, shared desires.

Feeling love, connected, understood. Feeling in control, free or independent. Experiencing competence, mastery, effectiveness. Feeling safe, secure. Wanting pleasure, avoiding pain. Most human beings want to be happy, we just may have different ways of getting there.

Motivation can be surprising.

While we are connected by our shared desires, a young person’s personal motivation for a particular change may be unexpected. The usual suspects of health, safety or independence may not be what really flips the switch. Maybe it’s about honouring a commitment to grandma. A secret dream of becoming a writer. Aesthetics. Spirituality. And it just might be precious enough to be carefully guarded and not readily shared. But it’s in there.

Sometimes it can feel like we don’t have time to delve into the bigger questions of values, desires or identity. But it’s hard to identify meaningful goals and possible steps without a sense of who this person is and what matters most to them. 

Motivation goes beyond reasons.

The most powerful motivation is felt. It’s that gut feeling that tells us what is “right” or meaningful or worth doing, despite the challenges or discomfort that may come with following that urge.

Motivation is not the same as goals.

Goals are very specific, time-limited actions that may help work toward fulfilling that deep urge that drives us, but are not themselves that urge. Think of motivation as being like the water in the well, and goals are the bucket that draws some into our life. The bucket is helpful but it’s not the source. And without the deeper meaning, goals do not have so much value to us.

Motivation is not the same as solutions.

Sometimes we can mistake the means for the end. For example, someone might be motivated to “make a lot of money”. But why? Money represents different things to different people. One person might want money to feel secure, another to be respected, another to access excitement. But there are plenty of other ways of meeting each of those desires – the appeal of making a lot of money is just a solution to something else.

Motivation matters.

Sometimes it can feel like we don’t have time to delve into the bigger questions of values, desires or identity. But it’s hard to identify meaningful goals and possible steps without a sense of who this person is and what matters most to them.

"My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

Dalai Lama